All desire takes birth in the mind, which is why Kamadeva is known as ‘Ananga’ – the formless one. The mind is the thing that dictates and cajoles everything into existence (product of creativity). The products of creativity also increase the pleasure of the senses and engage them, hence uniting the creator with the thing being created. The birth story of Saraswati is similar to this, She is born to Brahma from His desire to have a consort, but Brahma tries to establish His ownership over His work of art which was in the form of a beautiful young woman. Brahma (a metaphor of the manas/mind) tries to pursue and force Himself upon His creation and the creation (Devi as Maya/delusion) wants to be free. This interaction of the mind with desires is also similarly complex but the knowledge of it is liberating. Notice how Brahma is ridiculed for wanting His mind-born desire as we all are? Desire is so misunderstood in the modern age that we’ve degraded our senses and become puritanical and numb. Kaliyuga is the age of moksha (liberation) which is why there’s a need to move into darkness rapidly, but one can also achieve moksha without renouncing the bhoga (enjoyment), simply by not feeling burdened with desire but truly finding the nectar in it. Modern society has a strange relationship with it because people are taught from a very young age that even their most basic desires (food, shelter, love etc.) are to be earned and those who have an excess of objects of desire are successful... regardless of them being able to enjoy the desire or not.
Devi Saraswati is the fructification of Kama because She gives form to everything (Vibhavari- She who is the form of Maya, Saraswati Sahasranama). When there is form, there is friction naturally but since the friction is born from Devi for Her enjoyment (Kama), She experiences this through your ego and the way you view the world in relation to the self. Kama only flourishes when there’s an understanding of why duality is beautiful and perfect on its own. It is the state of the Devi as Ucchista Chandalini/Matangi, the outcaste goddess. Ugliness, death, despair is often viewed as the opposite of anything that is considered auspicious and an offering to the Gods. However, there are many ways of worshipping the divine and some of these ways also involve using traditionally ‘inauspicious’ objects to reach the goal of unifying with the deity.
Rules in any area of life are meant to constrict one to a particular identity instead of embracing the natural desire of a person. Once there is an incongruency in the desire and the social norms of the world, it creates feelings of guilt and shame. Feelings of contamination, inauspiciousness and disgust arise from feeling stuck in the form that we have (mental and physical) and these feelings are the hardest to transmute because it requires one to take an active role in reconstructing their identity and victim mindset. The ‘Aim’ beeja of Maa Saraswati is the most potent with the rasa/emotion of creativity because it gives the ability to bring to life a completely new you. ‘Aim’ beeja is the Pranava ‘Aum’ in action which gives you the ability to become the Saraswati in your own life. Saraswati does not only bring form to desire but because She is born in the mind, She asks you to discern understand your desire. When you understand the birth of your desire, you naturally begin to find unique ways of fulfilling it.
Devi Saraswati is known to be the main deity of the Kamashastras for She gives on the ability to accomplish mastery over 64 art forms which make one the very embodiment of all desires. The 64 art forms are not learned only to attract beautiful partners or influence people but also to make one’s mark in the world. Saraswati nurtures the process of individuation from the lower egotistical self. She welcomes one into the divine and juicy world of pleasure and pleasure-making to a point where one begins to rejoice in their own company. When one embodies self-sustenance and joy, they will naturally attract a lot of attention towards them.
Matangi is actually a deeply sexual goddess for She embodies the energy of the concubine, the sacred prostitute and the courtesan which are often required for ritual (transgressive) sex in tantra (In the 108 names of Matangi, She is worshiped as Makarapriya-She who loves worship through meat, fish, grain, wine, and sex). She is known to have eyes that are intoxicated with pleasure because She is enjoying the ability to garner one’s attention by being an extremely unorthodox woman. Duality is what attracts us to the other, but duality is also the state of feeling lacking within the self. One begins to foster rage and disgust with their own form when they suppress this desire which in itself is the Goddess in motion. If the Goddess has a desire, She brings it to fulfillment which is why in Her Gayatri mantra She’s known to be loved by Venus (Shukra-priya) and the goal of Venus is to unite the source and the object of desire.
Saraswati's yantra shows how a single seed of desire can bring forth waves of beauty and even more desire into this world:
You are what your deep driving desire is, as your desire is, so is your will. As your will is, so is your deed. As your deed is, so is your destiny. -Brihadaranayaka Upanishad
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